Serial Liar

I don't understand why I have to feel this way. Like I'm a psycho ex-girlfriend or something, stalkin his every move. I'm supposed to be this man's wife. I'm not supposed to feel doubts. Why can't I trust my husband. I feel like going through his phone and questioning all his friends. I feel like making him check in after every move he makes. But I feel like all of that would make me a psyco and I'm not that type of woman. So why do I feel like this. Because he made me feel like this. He's been lying to me our whole relaitionship. Every thing he said to me was probably a lie. So how am I supposed to decipher through the lies and the truth. How do I know when he's being sincere. I wish I never met this man. This is the worse I've felt in a long time. Why can't he just be honest with me? Is that too much to ask. And now he wants another baby? LOL! I don't even want him touching me without a condom. And I know he's my husband but the only reason you have unprotected sex with your husband is because you know it's a manogomous relaitionship where you can trust him not to be sleeping around. I don't know that. So am I so wrong for wanting some type of insurance on my life. Who knows where this man has been lately. I don't even know how we got like this. I remember not long ago telling someone outloud "my husband doesn't lie to me" and believing that with all my heart. Now I don't believe a word this man says. Everyword that comes out of his lips is suspect. How is that fair? I don't understand how a man can tell you he loves you but never tell you the truth. I hate being married to this man. I'm about to be on my decietfulness. Every move I make is now going to be out of the pain and anger I feel in my heart. Two can play at this game and I'm fed up.